I spent today reading a prayer book given to me by a very dear friend his name was Noel Beattie when I was the Mayor he was my chaplain, we had a very nice time and I remember one day in particular. I had spent the first part of 1997 up to may being the first mayor unelected at the birth of the new unitary authority Medway Council. We then had the Mayor Making and I was the first Mayor. it was a very busy time and I had had a very heavy workload in local politics for the past two years. I decided that I would play hooky, I took a whole week away from the Civic Centre and spent it all in my garden. I had always wanted to plant pots, hanging baskets, barrels and stone planters. on the Saturday Noel called to see me. he was aware that I had been working far to hard and it was taking its toll on my health, I just wasn't able to do all I wanted the mind was willing but my body had for some time been weak, even then I tried to forget my weaknesses.

Anyway Noel came round about 11 and the weather was spectacular nice and warm, not too hot balmy sunshine and the rest I had during the week had put me into a fantastic frame of mind. All was well with the world and god was very kind to us two men. we spent the day planting telling stories drinking tea and just loving each others company we even had time for some prayers of thanks. Sue said I hadn't been like that for years and she was so surprised. as an aside later that year the plants and the garden had been absolutely fantastic.

Well today I had reason to remember that day, and in remembering it I felt the warmth and love of the time, this allowed me to feel better about me. What on earth is he driveling on about; you may well ask! I recently had another medical scare that has in its own way pout the fear of God into me. I have recently been looking for a way to communicate the feelings to Him so that he knows that I am hurting. Pretty stupid questioning Him like that, He already knows and today gave me that memory to ponder on and in Gods own way begin to heal the mind. Thank you Lord for allowing me to see the good things and bad can exist together both in my mind helping me to understand and heal.

It always seems that after Christmas the coming of the New Year brings with it some sort of damp squib. this year it seems to me as though it has hit us worse. I can only put this down to the very sad loss of a former Brother In Law of mine Ian. unfortunately he died on December the 14th I only found out when Sue read the obituaries in the local paper.. Time has passed us by the break up of his marriage to my sister, me moving away, work commitments there always seems to be some excuse. but let me tell you this his death hit me really bad. some of you who know me will know what I went through when I was 20, a very traumatic time in my life and he was there for me. I never really got the chance to tell him what that meant for me. he prevented me spiraling into misery and dependant on the bottom of a bottle. there was three of us Ian, Keith and me, both were married to my sisters and when I came home on leave we spent plenty of time together. I look back now Keith died a few years ago due to alcoholism, and Ian on my birthday December 14th that dreadful dieses cancer was instrumental in taking his life. You could never have met a more "gentle man" in every sense. I owed him a lot and will always remember him most fondly in my prayers. I seem to be hearing a lot of that lately the death of many of my friends. God I know you challenge us daily and that you call your servants unto you as you will. but please lord allow me the wisdom to understand your greater plan.

Norman